Tuesday, February 16, 2010

My Recent Heartbreak!!

Well I recently got my heart broken, I thought my life was over. No matter if you know the person 20 years or 20 days do you ever really know them. For days I cried, read emails or chats over and over. I mean 5 days before he apparently fell in love with someone else he was telling me he loved me and my daughter. Of course I could of came out swinging and made him look so bad but didn't because I am a better person. Plus I still love and care about him. WHY?? Because we have been friends for 20 years sure we haven't seen or talked in years but when we started talking in May in was like it was 20 years ago. Plus I can't make him love me or be with me. I know he loved me and my daughter and was planning to be with us. I just think things were getting tough and couldn't handle it on top of all the stuff he had going on. Sure I wish he has stayed by my side and helped me through custody battle etc but he didn't, water under the bridge. Let me also say I was not Miss Perfect I made a lot of mistakes! I put him through a lot and when he was still standing there I was like WOW this guy loves me and is awesome. I did everything I could to be there and help him. Made sure he had Christmas gifts for he was going to be alone and didn't get anything in return! Prior to that sent him another gift just because I loved him and want him to know I was thinking about him. Sent cards, my daughter send stuff so as much I was a not perfect I did make sure he knew he was loved. Had pictures made to put on my profile for I wanted the world to know how much I loved him. He saw some of them and loved them.
After a week of crying and screaming, I picked myself up brushed myself off and went on with life. Some things came across my email about things he was saying, questions him about them but got no response. Part of me wanted to just fight back with words etc but opted to take the higher road and be better then that. Of course the good person in me believes he didn't say of the things that were told to me. For I do know him well enough to believe he didn't say it. Some call me a fool, maybe I am.
Well its about week and half later and I must say, I am having a great life. I have met a guy who is very nice. As well I ran into an old friend of my late husband who is also very nice. They both understand what my situation is and ok with it as well willing to work around it. One even said if all works out with us will help me get through everything that is coming up.
Sadly for the ex he will end up with his heart broken. It may not happen right now but its going to happen. Not because I am praying for that, just know-period. I am not gloating as much as I would love to, I actually feel really bad for him. Gosh how much I wish I could just sit back and laugh about it but truly can't. I have tried, I am not that type of person or maybe its because I just went through the hurt and pain, its no fun. One thing about me that I love, I have never ever held any grudges or have hate for any of my exes. Most I have stayed friends with and love them dearly as a friend. They would do anything for me and vice-versa. As odd as this may sound, I keep this person in my prayers everyday. I pray that he doesn't get hurt and if\when he does that he gets through it and just makes him stronger. I pray that he stays healthy and safe for that is all I can do for him. For me, well he is still my friend, yes that's right. I don't throw friendships away as easily as some people do. He can call me a month from now and need help I would be there for him no questions asked.


  1. I'm sorry for your heartbreak but I can understand what you mean about being friends. I have stayed in contact and friends with most in my life. As bad as my older 2 children's father is I still would be his friend. Alot of people don't see how I can be like that , I guess I just was raised not to hold a grudge. I guess it's just like the golden rule the way I am. I get hurt but I always bounce back standing on 2 feet with God always.

  2. Caroline
    I guess its the way I was raised too plus God doesn't teach us to hold a grudge. He teaches us to forgive. So like you I get hurt but always bounce back and keep the person in my prayers and their status is friend.