Scared

Today I am very scared of what may come.  I tend to agree with few no news is good news.  Then I think today this techs and imaging places just do their job and when dr gets report he gets it.  They have one on hand but the just check pictures and see if further pictures are needed.  He or she is not going to tell me if there is a problem or not.  Since the test I have not felt good but guessing its just all the worry.  I find myself trying to find a lump or something.  The mind plays serious tricks on you if you let it.  I keep thinking wow that pain i felt under my arm and in my back was that a sign I missed. Then you begin to think of all aches and pains and drive yourself crazy.

I am trying so hard to just go on with life and act like all is ok.  Its very hard to do but I must for my school work can't suffer.  More importantly I have to mantain normal routine for my daughter.  My facebook friends as well as my friends have been great with their support and prayers.  I have not told any family for I figured just wait no need to make them worry.  The man in my life well what can I say he is a man, they do the best they can.  He was great the other day now its back to focusing on work etc.  I know he has to focus on work and wouldn't want anything different but sure right I wish I could just be his main focus 24/7.   He is checking in when he can to see if I am ok or heard anything or need anything. 

I have so many things\projects I was working on and thought screw it not bothering.  I can't do that they are to important to me and others.  I have to pull it together and do my best.  For in the end I can't control what the results will be all I can do is deal with it if or when the time comes. 

Life

Well today I sit and wonder what the outcome of my mammography will be.  We walk around saying oh that won't happen to me.  For so long I walked around with that attitude till I lost my husband then tought crap it can happen to me. 
I am so mad at myself for I put this off for months  for I was to busy, had things going on and again thinking, nothing is wrong with me no big deal if I skip it.  Gosh how stupid of me, I let life get in the way of something so important.
Tell you something like this really makes you stop and think about life.  Sure it could be nothing or just a cyst but going through all the questions, more pictures and ultrasound made me realize not to take this for granted.  I may wind up fine but I now know how fragile and precious life is.  Best part is I called the guy in my life and he dropped everything to be with me.   Nothing else matter but me and that meant the world to me.
So now I just sit and wait, well I am not going to sit around waiting.  Going to live life and enjoy it and when\or if the call comes then I will deal with it.  I have cried a river and probably will again till I know and even after whether good or bad news. 
I pray to God its good news and beg him to please not take me from my baby, she needs me.
For any women reading this ..don't put off mammography or pap smear etc. they are very important to you and your family.

Do you or did you live in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn

Hi!!  Do you or did you live in Bay Ridge, Brooklyn?  We are looking for people worked in Century 21 Dept Store, between 1983 till 1986 or anytime.  Did you hang out at the Kilcar House, JJ Bubbles, Bean Post from 1983-1990's? 

My friend Kevin and many others  planning a reunion for Summer of 2011.  Yes its still early but we are trying to get an idea of how many people will be coming or think they might come.  Its going to be an awesome time!! Seeing old friends, meeting their families and remembering old times.  Kevin and I talked today on the phone and had a good laugh!  Gosh I miss those days, the guys and gals I hung out with were so much fun!  We always had a great time and very close friends.  Sorry I lost contact with with for so many years. I look forward to seeing everyone and staying in touch with all of them.

So are you interested in a day of fun? Email me @ countrygirldonna@aol.com and let me know if you want more information.

Zynga and Life :-D

As many of you know or not I have been working with on trying to get Zynga to listen and make changes. I have gotten a lot of info to them and feedback.  They know what people are upset about  as well as our suggestions.  I had gotten a lot of feedback and thank you all.  I am sure now that they have resolved conflict with Facebook they will work on fixing the games.  I know its frustrating and you want things fixed now.  They have gotten a bad rap lately and being pressured from every direction.  The company is being overwhelmed with complaints, people saying they are going to media etc.  How do we expect them to do their jobs when they are doing damage control every minute.  Hard but have a little faith in them. They are doing working on things.
Now I will still be following this and feel free to email me or leave comments here on things that are still bothering you etc.   I am not dropping the ball just have someone else helping out. My school work has gotten harder as well as pushed aside and I need to get back to it.  As well I am working on several projects one being my blogging I have several people watching and so I need to also try  focus on this.   Plus be a mom and dad to an 8 year old and get her ready for finals. 
Plus have some family matters to tend to as well a friend who needs to be talk down off a ledge basically.  Many of you waiting for my reveal its coming sometime in June, now just not the right time. 
Its totally amazing how great life is going and how I am feeling.  Sure have a few bumps in the road and issues that need my attention some stressful but still staying positive.  Plus my Tai Chi and yoga really help keeping stress down especially when dealing with men, my daughter's father for one.  I really wonder where his brain is at times or if its turned on. 

Last 24 hours

Life has been great, school going well for Alexis and I.  Feeling really well for the first time in 2 years.  Looking foward to summer and vacation.  Last but not least have a really great guy.   Couldn't be happier.... so I thought.   I have a friend who decided to drink and get very depressed.  Made stupid comments about wanting to hang themself.  All their family, friends and kids he knew now all married, have kids and he has nothing.  He got left behind and not sure what his purpose is.  Why is he here??  Well God isn't going to say here you go, here is your purpose, you have to find it.  Only you know what you want out of life.  Of course after a few beers he text me nasty messages at 1 am...REALLY 1 am ...Telling me what I should do with my life!!! COME AGAIN???  I am living my life and putting it together, part of my purpose is to be a great mom and working on others.  I have someone giving me loads of support and has helped me so much in securing a job till school is done. 
So he has opted to not talk to me and be pissed ok fine, sure I am worried about if he did something stupid.  Not like he didn't have the chance he was engaged to a girl he was with for 12 years broke that off.  He even had me at one time but wasn't willing to put the time and effort in to help me get what i needed for us to be together.  I offered to carry a child for him so he could at least be a father turned me down not once but twice.  What more am I supposed to do???  I am a really good friend and will do all I can but if you don't let me help, there is nothing I can do.  I mean me offering to carry a child, not be with him or her 24\7 tough call but was willing to help them out.  Would offer and not think twice for another friend not this one.  Even though now all of sudden he realizes what he is missing is children.  HELLOOOOOO I TOLD YOU THAT 4 YEARS AGO!!!!!
I am hoping tomorrow is a better day!

What a Beautiful day and life

Thanks to an awesome guy in my life and who has many connections, things are looking up for me.  I have been recently writing about my life well since my husband and forward.  Come to find out that yes I can use names as long as I have proof of what I am saying.  Well talk about doing the happy dance.  For I am the type of girl who doesn't get RID of emails I always thing I will need them.  Text well goofed on that but checking with last company to see if they can retrieve them.  I blowing the top off...LOL  It such good therapy for me maybe not for others. 
Also with his other connections I am really on the move.  I have a lot of things being discussed and I am very excited about them.  If one comes through it would be awesome, several out of this world. 
I recently said in a post that I thought we would be done for he didn't want any children of his own.  We discussed it further and its now a maybe and adopting is an option too.  WOO HOO.  So maybe he is really the one!!!!!!  Not getting to excited the last one, was the one then he decided to ....that's the past.   Plus I may not of went out and got revenge, but in the end I am getting it in so many different ways :-D
The truth ALWAYS comes out!!!!  Soon a lot of truth will come to surface not just through me. 
Anyway enough of that....Alexis and I had a wonderful weekend by ourselves and with the man.  Oh funny thing is we were talking about our past, where we hung out and people we know.  Turns out he knew a few people I did including the ex.  UGH are you kidding me???  Bay Ridge really is a small world.  I didn't tell him that the ex was an ex just went with friends.  No need bring that up. 
Can't believe I finally got lucky in so many ways.  I have no regrets and will always be there for my friends.  I will continue to do right by people and for people.  You need help and I can help I will.  I have someone helping me out in a big way its only right to return the favor to someone else. 
I am so very happy it scares me.  For i was this happy several months ago and it got scattered.  I know I just have to have faith in it all and hope it works out.

ZYNGA...Are they listening?!?!?!?!?!?

Update 5/16/10
Ok Zynga is listening people!  Just give them a chance to work it all out.  For oddly enough there are some people out there that happen to like the new changes.  I know why?  Who knows everyone is different.  So Zynga needs to make everyone happy or at best satisfied.  Not everyone will be happy no matter what they do.   We also can't expect them to do things right away either.  Things will happen if you give them half a chance without threats.


They are willing to listen but not willing to be bullied or threatened with media coverage.
Everyone needs to take a step back and let them breathe.  They are listening to the hundreds of people especially the 5 or so that are dealing with people at the top.  Miracles don't happen overnight.  Plus they are a big company you really think they  are afraid of us.  For every 5 gamers that quit 10 join.  I, like many are getting frustrated with how the games are working.  Hey its the Internet things are going to happen as far as certain glitches. Plus they like all of us have to find out what is being updated or changed so they too can update their systems.  That doesn't happen overnight either.
As for the changes, there will always be changes they are trying to keep people intrested.  Sure some changes go to far and they should let us have a say or at least a trial period to see if we like the change or not. Something I am sure they are taking in to consideration now. 
There a saying all have heard...You catch more flies with honey.  So you want something done you have to be nice.  Not threaten for you put them or anyone into defense mode then they shut all down all communitcations with everyone not just the one person or persons who thearten them.  There is only so much they are willing to take before that happens and my guess their are close to being done.

Someone said on their status on Facebook OH No one of the Mafia Wars groups said it and I am going to put in my words  ...Its only a game put the mouse down and just breathe for a minute.   Some have invested money in the game as well.  Know its frustrating and bothersome but in the end it is still ONLY A GAME!

You know I realized that if devote as much time and effort to my real life I might actually see my dreams come to true.  So I have put the effort in to my life and seeing my dreams start to unfold and become reality. 
Get frustrated, sign off and play with your animals, kids or friends. Heck you should do that first no matter what for they are more important. 
The world has enough negativity in it why get feelings of anguish caused by a virtual game in a virtual world of virtual goods.
REAL life is passing by, even as I take the time to write this blog. Gosh I spent so much time playing, getting involved wanting to be a group admin etc to make someone love me and show them I loved them, PS he is with someone else and never noticed the efforts I put in. 
Maybe if we stop playing and life our lives off the Internet they will changed but then again they may not.  For as many complaints they get they are getting patted on the back as well.  Stop letting a game run your life or your career.  So sign out, take a walk, breathe fresh air, stay away for a while, spend time with your family, for in the end Zynga will survive with or without us.  Can threaten all you want, they will do what they want when they want.  Maybe if we show them a little respect we will get some back. 

I know many have talked, many got some things done, many got nothing, some are having great talks with them.  Its all in how you walk the walk and talk the talk.  More importantly its how you present yourself. And for some who you know!

MEN

MEN!!!  Gosh what is it with some of them.  You have the ones that tell you all the right things meanwhile they are telling them to someone else or many others.  That is not a man that is someone looking to get laid and first one that gives it up he is madly in love with.  The funny thing is when the girl is running around behind his back cheating.  What comes around goes around!!!
Then you have the ones that break up with you but can't stop talking about you.  What is up with that????  Don't talk about me more importanly don't talk smack about me.  For I will get revenge but not by talking smack about you.  I will just be more successful, happier and a better person. At least my new beau not cheating on me or isolating me from true friends or controling my life.   Again What comes around goes around!!!Then you have the ones that are fathers who just don't care.  You don't have to care but I am going to make you pay through the nose for not caring and ignoring my child.  Hell have no fury like a mother who's child gets hurt.  The fight is on and I am ready for it.   



 
 
Sure sooner or later when you are not looking the right one may come along or the one you think is right comes along.  I have a really great guy who would do anything for me and my daughter.  He is so sweet, caring, loving and fun.  Just one problem, if we to marry he only wants my daughter as his child, no more...YIKES!!!  That could be a deal breaker for I wanted one more and if couldn't have my own then adopt. For now i will see where it goes with him.  Maybe in time he will change his mind about children.  He is very supportive and helping me with my goals.  He is also very smart and successful.  He is willing to go the extra mile to help me which is so great.  Taught me I can't worry about what others think or feel for its my life.  Just shot for the stars!!!!  He has been a big help in so many ways.   As I type this I am thinking another child is great but having him in our lives is great to.  He could be the one!

God Does Answer Prayers

Not that I doubt God in anyway. I know that not all prayers get answered and He has His reasons.
But recently I have been praying to Him for a few things, yesterday one prayer was answered in a way.  God sent someone to help me and in a big way.  I thank that person with all my heart and soul.  Its great know good people are still out there and willing to help. This was huge for me and Alexis. 
I said I was going to have a changing day seems like a changing week. 
So many people under estimated me, so many thought I couldn't do what I set out to do, some even thought I was full of sh*t about things I said I was going to do.   I am proud all that I have done especially lately.  My faith has given me the strength to get things done, to be strong to accomplish what I want.  Sure I may step on a few toes along the way, I am sorry but like you I am fighting for a better life.  I too want to do something for people and enjoy it.  Some of those I stepped on, I tried to offer you help or get you to join me so we could succeed together.  You, I am guessing choose to stay on the path you are on.  Not that the path you are on is bad, mine may have just gotten you to your goal sooner.  I am a strong single woman who is out to fight for a better life for me and my daughter.  Plus I  am out to prove something to myself but also to people who said I couldn't or wouldn't make it.  Never ever under estimate the strength and courage of Donna.  I am knocking on doors and knocking them down if necessary to get people to hear me.
God will always be by myside to guide me and help me through. He proved that yesterday. Sometimes we have to just leave our problems in God's Hands and let Him handle them in His way.

*crying* What a morning

So today I went to battle on a few things.  I said in early post I was a mom on a mission going to give those who don't have a voice or scared to speak up a voice. 
I have reached out to a few people\companies today.  Its amazing how responsive people are especially if you treat them properly.  I have lots of work ahead of me now.  For these companies and people want a more detailed outline on what I talked to them about.  I impressed some that I may have a job or two by the time I am done.  If you really believe in something and put 100% in into it you can make a difference or get changes done. 
I am very excited!!!!   I knew life could only get better for me, I've had to much heartache and pain for so many years.  Now time for Alexis and I to have happiness, love and fun!!!!! 
Best of all you ...Have faith in God for he does care and will help you through anything.  I talked to him everyday and will continue to do so.

Today is a Changing Day of Your Life...

Today was just a great day.  Ok test not so sure how I did wasn't 100% prepared, find out in few days.

The rest of the day went great.  Its amazing the things you can do when you set your mind to it.  As well don't let anyone or anything stand in your way.  More people need to stand up and fight for what they want.  You have a dream fight for it as hard as you can.  Sure we all don't get our dreams but we can come close to it.  I found out today if you do things and say things the right way you can achieve a goal or open up communication.  I am fighting so hard right now for 2 jobs as well to get some changes made.  I really hope that I can make a difference and make people happy. 
I hope I show Alexis that you can do almost anything as long as you are committed and fight hard for it.
Tomorrow is a new day and more fights to fight :-)  Look out world here I come..I said 2010 was Donna's Year!!! :-D

Mother's Day Part 2

Well yesterday was a great Mother's Day.  I don't need flowers or gifts just spending time with my beautiful daughter is all i ever need.  We had a great time together.  She helped me out around the house, we played, mommy danced around all silly and we laughed so hard.  We talked about all different things.  It was just a great day!  Sometimes life gets in the way and we don't always get times like these.  I cherish these times for soon she will be all grown up.  :-(  I wish I could just keep her little for a little while longer.  She is my whole world and love her to death.  Its amazing how a child just loves you unconditionally and don't get mad when you forget or screw up.  they say its ok mommy these things happen.  I was truly blessed with a wonderful child.  So that is why today May 10,2010 is going to be the changing day in my life.  I have so much to do today.  Take on some big wigs, school and test, and so much more.  I am going to make life so much better for my baby girl.  I love you Alexis ♥

Mother's Day Weekend Pt 1

Well its Saturday and tomorrow Mother's Day.  The best job in the world is being a mother.  I couldn't imagine my world without my sweet Alexis.  Gosh I love her so much.  She tries so hard to be good, help me out and confort me when sad.  I couldn't ask for a better child.
Life is great for me even that it so busy.  I have way to much on my plate but in the end will be worth all the work.  I put so much effort into my life now to make it better and happier.  I want to be able to give Alexis things she needs but wants.  I want her to enjoy life, go places etc.  I will work around the clock if I have to, to do that for her.  I have a really great guy in my life who is willing to do so much for me.  I am taking this one really slow.  One small step at a time, for if its meant to be then it will happen not matter how fast or slow we take the relationship.  Plus I want to have fun with being single, hanging with friends, not having to answer to anyone etc.   Alexis and I going to spend lots of time together doing all different things to celebrate Mother's Day!  She is the best present ever!!! 

Don't question ..just say Thank You!!!

Why is it when you do something nice a person can't say Thank You!!! 
Why do some people read into everything?  Why do some think the worst about people or think their good deed is not just that? 
I am too busy for all the drama.  I am working so so hard, with being a single mom, working, school, taking care of Alexis, personal life, on Facebook trying to catch up with friends, playing mafia wars, other games if I get a chance, trying to get Zynga to fix things and then today added more to my plate.  So no I don't have time to be playing games with people.  I do things because I want to, it makes me feel good and if it helps one person or more great. 
Someone reaches out to help or offers you an opportunity just grab at it, say thank you and move on. 
I am so happy with my life right now, sure I have a few minor things to work on plus family things.  But all in all I am really happy and its all thanks to an event that took place months ago.  I had my heartbroken badly, sure at the time if I could of I would of ripped his heart out of his chest and shove it down his throat.  All I wanted for days, weeks after was to hurt him as bad as he hurt me. I said so many mean things that day, days, weeks to follow.  So today I say I am very sorry.  Also today, I call him friend, that's right for he was my friend first and always will be even if we never speak again.  I don't turn my back on my friends.  I don't lie when I say if he was ever in trouble and needed something I would do all I could to help him as I would any of my friends.  So I thank this man for breaking my heart, sounds strange I know but due to him doing so I was able to put my life in order, get me back to who I was before all the bs in my life.  I saw an old friend recently, they told me how great I looked and picked on me for still being the shy, sweet girl I was when I met them.  That made me feel awesome for that is the really Donna...shy, sweet, nice and friendly.   It wouldn't of happened if I had not gotten my heart broken.  Yes I took a negative and turned it into a positive.  It can only get better from here. 

MAD AT ZYNGA....WHAT ABOUT THE MAFIA WARS GROUPS!!!!

UPDATED 5/6/10---This post was to help the groups not have it turn into an attack on me.  Many members are upset with a lot of groups but don't want to say anything for this exact reason, the personal attack.  I will say to those reading this you want a good group or groups...I have gotten feedback that Ron Collingwood, Godfather of Mafia Wars the DOG MAFIA [K9] runs  his group well. I am a member of this group and from what I see he runs it well.  Someone told me Killer Penguins ☠[KP]☠ is another good group.  I know there is so many and you never know which on is right.  All you can do is take a chance or ask around.  
A  Godmother has apparently decided instead of trying to fix things is going to personally attack me.  That is soooo fine with me.  I am not going to behave like I am 10.  This is America, The Land of the Free and Freedom of Speech!  There is also a Godfather who I understand is upset for they think this about them and Group Admin. He is welcome to contact em to find out. I am trying to get you all to improve things like we are trying to get Zynga to improve things. 
Also another issue a member brought to me, why is it personal stuff gets dragged into Mafia Wars.  Why if someone's girlfriend\wife\husband\boyfriend get hit on we go to war with the person who did it?  It does take two to Tango!!  Or a member says something about a clan member that is a personal comment we go to war with that person?  I can totally understand if you are getting attacked or robbed in the game, then yeah call for help.  Personal matters should be left outside the game.  Plus the rest of us don't need you airing out your personal business to us. 



5/5/10
Let me first start off by saying there are thousands of groups out there and for the most part from what i see or heard most are doing a great or good job. So this isn't about attacking all groups. There are a few that are just lacking effort, concern and some that are just bad.

 I am a daily mafia wars player. Sure i am getting very frustrated with Zynga and the way they keep changing things or the game is not working etc. Not just Mafia Wars other games as well for I do play some of their other games. Mafia Wars is my #1 game to play.

 My issues are with some of the Groups, if you are a group admin and want to talk to me one on one I would be more then happy to. Let's first start with Group Admins..the Godfather. Godmothers, Chief Allianace Officer, Bosses etc, I don't understand how some of them can have an attitude and be mean to its members. If you don't want the job then step down. You opened the group or agreed to be an admin to help out, its not like its going to look good on your resume. There is one Godmother that is pissing off a whole lot of people and should consider stepping down. I can't believe the Group Admins are even allowing her to get away with it. I know a member who is ready to complain to Facebook.


If you are a Godfather, Godmother, Chief Alliance Officer, Boss etc all nice fancy titles isn't our job to run the group appropriately? Also what about your members, their needs and wants? They don't care what your title is they care that you are helping them in every way possible. A few of the groups are just there, nothing is done with them, some groups all they do is go to war and in others you can ask for help till you are blue in the face and still no answer. If you have all these admin members why isn't anyone getting back to these people? Why is it your admin can pick and choose who they want to accept as a friend? If you are admin you should accept all your members if they request it. I don't expect the admins to go out and seek all new members and add them but if a request sent they should accept. Not fair that some admins don't accept people due to whom they are associated with or friends with. Not fair that some of the groups that pimp only pimp the people on their friends list or their admins friends list. What happen to being equal?


We are in a fight with Zynga for not doing the right thing or not listening to its players but some of our groups aren't either. People want to enjoy the game and many don't know how to play so yes they rely on you group admins to help them out. I've had people in my mafia go to one group for help and was actually turned down by the Godfather and\or Godmother. WHAT THE??????? REALLY!!! How is that ok? How is that fair? Someone else went to the admins page and left a comment, they got told if they did that again Facebook would be notified. WHAT???? Then the admim person blocked their whole page, are we 10? Oh then there was a group that was sending out messages cursing at members to change their tags, well i immediately left that group when I got that. What got me was a Godmother from another group was a member as far as I know is still today!! How could you be a member of a group that is cursing at its members? Telling members they must changed their tags to this groups tags or else. That is totally wrong plus there could be CHILDREN in that group! Thats another topic, CHILDREN are playing this game!! Lets remember that and conduct ourselves in the proper manner. Everyone from Zynga to Facebook to Group Admins are really ruining the fun for the rest of us. I mean if you don't have the time to run your group anymore then pass it on to someone who can. Or shut the group down and explain you can't run it. Gosh people will respect you for being honest and understand we all have lives outside of Facebook and Zynga. For some work or school comes before Mafia wars, family comes before mafia wars. No one will be mad, hate you or resent you..life happens. Heck I am upset I can't play the way I used to, for I am a single mom, working and going to school so I have to play once a day maybe twice. That's life! Then there are people out there who no matter what must find the time to play, level up, rob etc That's life for them. We all have different priorities and manage our lives accordingly.

 Don't get me wrong there are a lot of nice Godfather\mother's out there. They are so helpful and take the time to help you out. As for me, I now go to my top mafia and ask them for help.


I don't know how you can go to battle with Zynga for your memebers when you are turning your back on them.


I like many people on here trying to get Zynga to listen, I am not a group admin just a gamer. I also reached out to a TV personality for some help. I truly hope I get the opportunity to be on the show and discuss the issues. Or they just do a show on it and get the answers and help need to fix things. Maybe just maybe someone can make a difference and get Zynga to listen and make changes. That someone has to be focused and willing to fight till the end, not start something then drop the ball because something else came up.

Saturday News

Today we had beautiful weather.  Alexis and I went out for awhile to enjoy it.  Then we came home to play some games.  It has been a very good day.  Its now 7pm and we are getting ready to settle in for the night. I feel like I am getting a cold..BLAH   Hoping tomorrow is just as great so we can get out and enjoy another day. 
I have gotten some of my studies done and need to do more tomorrow prior to Monday's test. Have to say I am not sure I will do so well on this one. 
I have been talking to some old friends that I used to work with in Century 21 Department Store.  We are working on a reunion but tough finding everyone.  We are working hard for it would be nice to see old friends again.  We are hoping to do it by August or Sept. 
I can't believe how happy I am and how much my life is in order.  I saw an old friend today and they went on about how great I looked.  That made me feel awesome.  Its nice to know all my hard work is paying off.  I will continue to work hard.  
I have so many projects I am trying to get started on.  I so want to be someone who helps others, especially children.  Some people are afraid to speak their mind or to scared ..I want to give them a voice, and trying so hard to make that happen.