Saturday, July 17, 2010

Single is better!!

I think I am done with having a relationship for a while.  Gosh I really know how to pick em!!  I know all relationships have ups and downs but why lie, what is the reason for it?  For when he gets caught he gets the Wrath of Donna!  LOL but true I hate being lied to.  I can forgive one maybe two depending on the lies.  Worse part is the guy I am with now other then the lies is awesome well he is great.  I know how can I say that with the lies, we've had our share of problems and some my fault.  I have not been perfect but better then I was with my last guy.  That guy took major crap and really got the wrath of Donna.  Plus now I have Alexis to think about I want her to see what love really is not what she has witness up to now.  Her father and I had a terrible relationship.  Gosh why I stayed that long and dealt with that I will never know, well I do know. I did it for her, but in the end was wrong. The next guy got her to know him and bam he was gone, now this guy she hasn't spent time with but here and there.  See him on the street or took me up to get her before school came out.  No long period of times for I don't want her getting attached.  Plus she never stops talking about the last guy.  Thank Goodness I am at a better place with that or I would be a mess.  Got to say though he was terrific with her as well me.  I was the idiot not him.  I expect him to my strength and to hold me up through some tough things and didn't talk to him about it first.  Thanks to him I did get my crap together as well as my life.  He never told me I couldn't do something.  I watched how he did things to succeed and want to the same.  He never once told me I was a disappointment, waste or stupid.  He wanted the best for me and Alexis, he pushed me to get that.  I am not quite all together but getting there.  Love the whole Zynga project its exciting but very frustrating.  I just love trying to help people.  Now just waiting some other things that are in the works for me.  I am focused and will be successful in my life.  As for love well maybe not so successful at least not right now.  I need to still adjust to being a single mom as well once school goes back get adjusted to new schedule. Plus deal with her father with child support, visitation, etc.  On top of all that look for a new place and move..OH JOY!!!  A new place will be good for Alexis and I, be a new start to our new life.  Now to decide to we keep the guy or dump him...hmmmmm Need to hear what he has to say for himself then sleep on it.    My theme song is You'll See by Susan Boyle what a song.  I can see me and my life when i hear it.  

update 7/18. so i talk to him and he clears up why he lied and apologized, brought flowers....should of been diamonds..LOL  Anyway so I agree to let it all go and start a new.  Well how wrong was I to do that!!!!  Talking to him now and telling him I need to get Alexis to the library on Tuesday so she can get her summer books.  Now I know he took Tuesday off, thinking oh he will offer to drive us in this heat.  NOT!!!!  Ok now library is near her school its a bus ride and a 3 block walk.  Not bad but in 100 degrees its bad.  So he is telling me leave very early when its not bad and you will be fine.  REALLY!!!!! Now making jokes like maybe library will come to your house...if you ask nicely maybe they will.  He thinks he is funny...he really needs to think again.  So now come Tuesday if he doesn't take us we are officially done.   How can he be okay with it?   How can he make jokes about it?  Telling me how he sees people in NYC passing out or close to it and you are ok with letting your girlfriend and her daughter go out in it, wait for a bus etc.  Even the great ones go bad sooner or later.  I am so upset and hurt beyond belief. I am totally crushed and heartbroken.  I am praying and hoping he realizes what a jerk he is being and offers Tuesday.   What an idiot I am!!! Will I ever learn????  Good thing I am working on my goals and career that will keep my mind off the heartbreak if it happens.  who am i kidding when it happens.


  1. Praying everything works out for you and Alexis. Thinking of you always sweet friend.

    {{HUGS}} Love ya

  2. Thanks Caroline. I too am thinking of you always my dearest friend.

    Love ya