Friday, September 17, 2010

As they take their vows

Today is a bitter sweet day.  As two of my exes take their vows today I take the next step into the next chapter of my life.  We can always hope and dream that one that got away comes back.  For some it happens for others it doesn't.  I pray for all the best for them and me.  I have no regrets, just wish I did things differently. 

Earlier in the week I was angry and bitter gosh so many emotions.  I then vented, cried and screamed.  I felt so much better and made the final break. For one ex he truly is a wonderful man and a very dear friend.  A lot of my friends reading this will be shocked I am saying this.  He is, just because we didn't work out doesn't me he isn't a good person.  Wasn't in the cards and that's ok, I still have a great friend.
I wish him and his new wife nothing but luck, love and happiness.  I am very happy for him. 

For the other one well I wish him the best. As much as I want to be happy I can't.  I don't wish anything bad just can't show a whole lot for him.  I know that I am better off and glad it ended when it did, he just did so many wrong things.  Ones that are just unacceptable or forgiveable.

So instead of feeling sorry for myself or wishing bad things.  I embrace my new life I start today.  For now the ties I held on to for so many months have been released.  I am proud of myself for in the past I would of made bad choices and said horrible things etc.  I have grown plus have had so much pain in my life I don't want anymore.  Things happen in our life for a reason.  God wants them to go this way.  I always have my memories wish I will reflect on in a good way.  No one can take what I felt away from me or take my memories. 

Today is a great day for these two men and for me.  They start a new life.  For me, I let go and start a new.   I will always be there for my friend no matter what it is, what time or day etc.  I am there, for I don't turn my back on my friends.

I had many friends tell me what I should or shouldn't do.  I love them for caring but in the end its what makes me happy.  I had some good laughs with friends too.  You have the one girlfriend who just makes fun of the guys and you laugh so hard your side hurts.  That helped me a lot. I have one friend we were talking about our exes and I said forget their ears ringing they must be burning for all the talking we are doing about them.  She turns around and says forget their ears, I hope the family jewels are burning, burning so bad they burst into flames.  ROTFL  No she's not angry or bitter.  It was a good laugh but not something I wish on anyone.  Then you have the friends who go looking for information, then call you wth it.  Some things I won't lie made me feel so much better.  Just because you are replaced doesn't mean it was by someone better. In the end though its not my problem or my past etc its someone elses.

Don't say goodbye, Cause goodbye means walking away, And walking away means forgetting -Peter Pan   I never want or will forget, its part of my life!

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