Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Time to tell my story about the exes getting married.

Here we go.  Ok many see me posting on my page about how two of my exes are getting married this week.  Heck same day and time they must of talked and planned it that way.  Broken Angel yes but going to be a Strong Angel.  You can break me, hurt me but you won't knock me down.

So lets start with the latest ex.  He was a cheating, lying, selfish Bas***d.
I caught him over and over, cheating, lying etc.  I took it for I loved him and wanted us to be together.  Here is a helpful hint, your child don't like them, that's a HUGE sign.  I took his crap over and over.  Eventually came to a point I was just using him for his contacts because he had ones I needed for somethingt I am working on.  Thankfully after the break up he let me still us those contacts.  So he comes to me today and invites me to his wedding. REALLY?!?!?!  Why would think I would want to be there???  He is marrying a woman like 8 years older then him. What is that about?
The only reason he got let go was because I was walking on the avenue with Alexis and she spotted him, then asked why he was hugging and kissing another woman.  Gosh my heart shattered, why did my child have to see that.    So today he has been posting on his FB page about his upcoming wedding I finally had to hide it all. Then sending out emails to people who in turned emailed them to me.  Thanks.

Final note on this ex I don't really care what happens..especially with all he put me through also after coming to me and inviting me to wedding. Do I think they will make it? I doubt it buy hey who knows.

Now on to the next ex.  Well surprise surprise, I just found out that while he was talking to me he was also talking to his future wife.  He couldn't wait to talk to me, tell me how he was never losing me again, love my daughter couldn't wait to be her daddy.  In the meantime he is talking to another girl, having an online romance with her.  Tell me he is so sad we can't be together especially for the holidays I go and buy him gifts.  Then I felt bad for that was all i sent and tells me they were the best things for that is all he got and was alone!!! WTF    He was telling me how we were going to be married etc  in the meantime he is telling someone the same thing.  He came to town to see his family and claims he was sick.  Apparently he was not for I understand she was her with him.  WTF again.  My daughter cried for days for she was so sick and blamed herself for us not being able to see him.   My daughter went out of her way to make friends with him for she wanted to see me happy and was so looking forward to a new daddy.  He told her how he was going to play in the snow with her, take her place, do daddy things with her.  Crap man this guy promise to come and save me from the hell I was living in and he knows what i mean by that.  Why he had the opportunity to leave me alone.  We stopped talking in August and yes because I was a total nut case. I am not going to lie.  For I got insecure and felt something was wrong and became totally insane.  BUT I WAS RIGHT SOMETHING WAS WRONG!!! Tell me he has eyes for no one else but me.    Why not just walk away at that point. sure i wrote a letter asking for forgiveness.  Said we were fine, we discussed having a baby.  I went to dr got told had to see a high risk ob\gyn, so i go thinking we are having a baby.    Start the ball rolling to get custody in order\child support etc.  Tell him look I got to take you off Alexis' page for going to lawyers about her dad.  Next thing I know he stops telling me he loves, stops talking to me, we would poke each other a few times a day that stopped . I used to post things on his page, getting deleted.  again WTF  ..So the gut always knows, I knew there had to be someone else for he never deleted my post......So instead of breaking up with me he lets me find out on FB  WTF again.  Then he saw the wrath of Donna I was ready to crush him and good.  Oh if he is reading this I was the one that helped you with your thing I don't want to say what for then people will figure out who you are.  But I was the one who sent you all the emails told you what they were saying. As well you promised to give me a spot.  Hard to get into for then it gives to much information but you know what I am talking about. You never gave me a chance!!!   I spent days and hours emailing you stuff. 
Worse part of it all Alexis got her heart broken.  She went out of her way to send things for she felt bad he was alone.  Damn it he even told her he loved us and that true love can't be broken...I deserved better then that.  After all the years I totally deserved better.  Sure right now I am mad and if he was in front of me, oh what I would do to him.  But I am mad for the fact that I had to find out again this way him posting something.  When it happened I just asked for an answers, he deleted me out of his life.  Ok I understand for the wrath of Donna was getting intense.   I still deserved some answers, well I guess I just got some. 

Final not on this ex:  he truly is a friend and jaws dropping.  Oh yeah he hurt me bad so bad and just did again when I read something he just wrote.  I never ever lied to him, just very insecure, afraid of getting hurt.  And look what happened, got hurt and was right to be insecure.  I was into the relationship 100% sure I was not perfect but now I see neither was he.  Why he is still my friend well he wasn't for many months.  He made the requested recently and I sat staring at it.  Wasn't sure what I wanted to do.  It took me a good hour before I accepted.  For I wasn't sure what the intention was behind it.  I went for it and prayed it wasn't going to lead me to more hurt and pain.  I had forgiven him but  I will never ever forget.  The hurt I felt in January I just felt again after reading what I did.  For I had the opportunity to date someone here and didn't for I was so loyal to him.  I was so IN LOVE WITH HIM.  So as for him now.. I love him, from the first time we spent together  (ROTFLMAO inside joke) till now.  I will always love him.  He will always have a special place in my heart and that is an honor. For only one other man has that, my late husband.  Why does this man get the honor, because he was my first love, something he doesn't even know, well he knows now if reading this.  I don't want to lose him out of my life again.  All he really had to do was talk to me, just call me and tell me he found someone else.  It was the least he could of done being we are friends for so many years as well to do it out of respect. The guy I knew was always a kind, friendly, funny, caring person.  Part of me feels he still is that way. Part of me thinks he has totally changed, but guess its the hurt talking.  Gosh one thing I will never forget about him is he has the most beautiful smile and eyes, they just made me melt.  Mr X if you are reading this, really all you had to do was talk to me.  I don't understand why you didn't.  I am very happy to have you back in my life as a friend.  I may not sound ok or sound mad etc its just I got information that shocked me and hurt. Plus I had to find out that way. Also let me say I am sorry for losing it at the time.  I know I said some hurtful things, but I was hurting my whole world was shattered.  I wanted you to feel what I was feeling.  I want to cause you so much pain.  Instead just decided to heal myself and my heart.   All in all I am good, I have made my peace with it all.  Love is love even when we make peace we still hope and hurt at times.  All you had to do was be honest, then say you were sorry.     I truly wish you and your future wife all the happiness,love and luck in the world.    

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